Learning to Embrace My Feelings
Talking about feelings never came easily to me. As someone who’s all about logical steps and making things work (hello, Extraverted Thinker here!), I used to see emotions as something to handle “when there’s time.” I’d push them aside, thinking that if I just kept working through things logically, any uncomfortable feelings would eventually fade. Turns out, it’s not that simple.
My “Bottling It Up” Phase
A few years ago, I found myself in a job that was way more stressful than I could handle. I felt overwhelmed daily, like I was always behind and never good enough. But rather than facing that sinking feeling, I told myself I just needed a better system, a stronger plan to get through it. I didn’t even consider the emotional side of things. Who has time for that, right?
But day after day, my frustration and stress kept building up, and I ignored it all, convinced that I can power through. Until one day, I exploded at a random guy in the grocery store. He overcharged me by mistake, and instead of brushing it off, I lost it. It was like every feeling I’d been pushing down suddenly came rushing out, aimed at the wrong person. I didn’t recognize myself at that moment, and that’s when I realized something had to give.
Why Ignoring Feelings Doesn’t Actually Help
As someone who usually operates on “What’s the logical solution here?” the idea of dealing with emotions felt unnecessary and honestly uncomfortable. But I learned that when we bottle things up, we’re setting ourselves up for an inevitable crash. Ignoring feelings doesn’t make them go away; it just makes them simmer until they boil over, often in ways we didn’t intend.
For me, getting in touch with feelings (or “Introverted Feeling,” as typology puts it) wasn’t my strong suit. Perhaps it was related to my upbringing as a male too, where emotions were seen as unmanly and weak. But I had to admit that my logical approach wasn’t working. I had to learn that emotions are there to tell us something. If we don’t listen, they have a way of coming out anyway, and often in ways that make things worse instead of better.
The First Time I Let It Out
After that grocery store meltdown, I decided it was time to do something different. I told a friend what I’d been going through. At first, I wanted to skip the feelings and just jump to solutions. But my friend patiently nudged me to actually talk about the emotions I’d been trying to ignore. Surprisingly, just admitting my frustration made me feel lighter.
Opening up didn’t change my job environment, but it helped me change how I see things. I realized that part of the solution was actually facing the emotions that I’d been trying so hard to avoid.
How Letting It Out Helps (Even If You Hate Feelings)
If you’re a Thinker like me, letting out your feelings might feel weird, even unproductive. But I learned that acknowledging what’s going on inside doesn’t mean giving up logic; it actually makes you stronger and more balanced. You don’t have to let go of rationality to address emotions, you just have to give both a place in your life.
If you’re used to ignoring feelings or think they’re not your thing, give yourself permission to let a little out. Start small: talk to a friend, write things down, or just acknowledge what’s been building up inside. Letting out your feelings isn’t a weakness; it’s one of the strongest things you can do for yourself. And as someone who prefers action and logic, I can honestly say: learning to face your feelings will make every part of your life stronger.